I was performing at the CNE Scottish World Festival that night to be followed by an early morning parade the next day.
The Band Mess was a popular destination for our afterparties. It was close to the CNE and had cheap beer – a perfect combination. The nightly gatherings usually lasted into the early hours with a few sore heads the next day.
But, I was thinking ahead. I had it all planned out.
A night of getting reacquainted with some of my fellow performers followed by a crash in the shag wagon. The wagon was parked in the secure lot right next to a Sherman Tank for protection.
To increase my odds of making it to the parade I even arranged for a wakeup call. This In the mid 70’s involved someone thumping on the roof of the car – cell phones didn’t happen until 1983. I also agreed to let a friend stay in the car. One of us would have to get up on time – right!
So – get some sleep, wake up early, a shower in the Armoury then the parade. After that, go home and sleep in my own bed.
Good plan – poor execution.
The mess closed for the night. I made it to the car and passed out on the soft shag of the trusty wagon. All I needed to do is get up in the morning and it’s mere minutes to the parade marshalling point. It was looking good so far.
Some hours later I began to have strange visions of yellow lights flashing by high above me! The car was rocking a bit as though it was moving at a high speed.
My first thoughts Aliens? Alien abduction? I bravely fought off feelings of panic; or was it just nausea? I think I blanked out after that.
Next thing I remember was pulling into a familiar driveway in Brampton (about 40km – 25miles from Toronto). The moon was still in the sky. Incoherent, I managed to crawl into a spare bedroom at my friends parents’ house and was out like a light.
What had gone wrong?
I guess the biggest mistake was underestimating my friends desire to get home and prepare for a house party he had planned that night. That and not hiding the car keys well enough. Apparently my friend didn’t enjoy his front seat bed, decided he’d rather sleep at home and knew where I kept the spare key.
And with that I became the unwitting victim of a blatant abduction. I was held against my will (well kind of, I think maybe) and forced to endure a painful night of socialization. There was even water torture – I think it involved an outdoor pool.
Unthinkable. At least that’s how I justified not making the parade in the morning: to myself at least.
My alien visions?
I thought about this a bit and remembered that the Gardiner Expressway in Toronto had these weird street lights that emitted a funky yellow glow. Could they have been the yellow floating lights I experienced as we drove down the highway? Could the water torture have involved too much beer and an epic struggle to get out of the pool I’d fallen into? Possible I guess. Who am I kidding – likely is the better answer.
So mystery solved: no Aliens + no Alien abduction = major letdown.
Takeaways – don’t miss a regimental obligation as you will get in much trouble, yellow flashing lights in the sky aren’t always aliens and must remember to put more effort into hiding your keys.
On the bright side I did talk to my future wife for the first time at my friends’ party but that’s for another story.